Hoi An World Cultural Heritage Conservation Center
Modern Family Conduct and Behaviour in Hội An
Ributing to the building of a “prosperous, happy, progressive, and civilized Vietnamese family.” Over the past decades, the Vietnamese family in general, and families in Quảng Nam and Hội An in particular, have undergone important transformations, shifting from the traditional family model to one marked by newer, more modern and more liberal characteristics. The process of international integration, including cultural exchange and integration, has brought about more open views on marriage and family life.
However, it must also be acknowledged that alongside the positive changes in behaviour within the modern family, there remain many shortcomings in the way family members interact in not a few households in Hội An. These shortcomings have had a noticeable impact on the city’s long-valued tradition of “nhân tình thuần hậu” (humane, warm-hearted, and sincere social conduct).
Under the influence of the market economy, family relationships in Hội An have been undergoing profound change. Alongside the gradual weakening of traditional family values, the introduction of outside ideas and perceptions about family life has not yet been matched by the firm establishment of new values and standards in family relationships, resulting in what may be described as “value disturbances.” For that reason, the development of the family and family relationships needs to be guided by the highest standards of humanity and compassion, so that family conduct may continue to be regarded as a cultural virtue and contribute to preserving the good traditional culture of Hội An’s people, often described as “nhân tình thuần hậu, lá bông đủ màu” (warm-hearted and richly diverse in character and sentiment).
In response to these changes, some of which have been unfavourable to family conduct and behaviour, and in order to preserve and promote the positive values of family interaction, maintain peace and happiness within the household, and limit negative tendencies, in 2020 the Family Department under the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism issued the Criteria for Conduct within the Family, setting out several important principles. These criteria have been maintained and applied by the city of Hội An in ways appropriate to the circumstances of each family. They include:
Respect: This means evaluating one another fairly and properly, and valuing one another’s dignity, honour, and interests. When a person, whether elderly or young, feels respected, they are more likely to feel happy, open, and willing to connect and share. One of the causes of dissatisfaction and conflict in some family relationships is the feeling of being looked down upon. People often take family members for granted simply because they are so familiar and always present in daily life, to the point that they forget to show one another how much they value and respect each other.
Not feeling respected is one of the main causes of emotional distance and weakening bonds among family members. Failing to show respect, expressing it in the wrong way, at the wrong time, or not knowing how to express it at all can gradually erode the good relationships that originally existed in marriage, between parents and children, and among siblings. Respect means listening, offering sincere advice, educating and encouraging one another in times of fault or weakness, rather than causing emotional harm.
Equality: This refers to equal rights and responsibilities in all aspects of family life. Gender equality means that men and women have equal position and role, and are equally provided with opportunities and conditions to develop their abilities for the benefit of the family and the wider community, while also enjoying equally the fruits of that development. The aim of gender equality is to eliminate gender discrimination, create equal opportunities for men and women in socio-economic development and human resource development, move toward substantive equality between the sexes, and establish as well as strengthen cooperative and supportive relationships between men and women in all areas of social and family life.
In the family, gender equality means that husband and wife, sons and daughters, and male and female members all have equal status and role. Each should have the right to develop their abilities for the benefit of the family, the right to enjoy the results of the family’s and society’s development equally, the right to make decisions concerning themselves, and the right to participate in family decision-making. On the basis of these rights, family members can take part in domestic and social work according to their abilities and interests, and enjoy the fruits of development according to their own preferences. However, equality does not mean sameness. Because individuals differ biologically and in social roles, substantive equality must be understood and practiced in ways appropriate to each person within the family.
Equality between men and women is a cultural foundation for human dignity, family life, and happiness. The equal recognition and promotion of women’s roles in society and in the family carries major significance for preserving and advancing the good traditions of the Vietnamese family and the broader cultural heritage of the nation. Family culture is the foundation of social culture. Equality in the family is important in every era, but especially so in the current age of industrialization and modernization. A family grounded in equality is a healthy environment in which people, especially children, are treated fairly, educated about equal rights, and encouraged to act on those principles. Gender equality in the family is an important precondition for successful child care, upbringing, and education. It also contributes to improving the quality of life of family members, building a more civilized society, supporting national economic growth, helping to liberate women from restrictive roles, and strengthening the sustainability of the family.
Love and Affection: This refers to deep emotional bonds, care, and concern for one another.
Family affection is sacred. First and foremost, it is the affection family members have for one another, including maternal love, paternal love, and sibling affection. Such affection is not limited to those connected by blood; even those without a biological relationship can feel and express family-like care through concern, cooperation, and mutual support.
Each person expresses care in a different way. Some show it through words, others through actions. Family affection can help people overcome every hardship and challenge in life. It provides comfort, confidence, and hope in difficult times. As society develops, people may form many different kinds of relationships, but no relationship can truly equal family affection, which always holds a central place in people’s emotional and spiritual lives. Every person should therefore be aware of the important role family affection plays in life, so that it may be cherished, preserved, and nurtured. Even the simplest everyday gestures of care can make this affection more meaningful and beautiful, while also drawing people closer together. The family is the place where one loves and is loved.
Sharing: This means building emotional bonds together and sharing joys, sorrows, hardships, and adversity with one another. Family members should work together to sustain and develop the family, and should also share together in the results of the family’s labour and efforts. Sharing is the outcome of love, respect, and equality within the family. Without love, respect, and equality, genuine sharing cannot exist.
In reality, all people need to share and to be shared with. Life would be extremely dull and bleak without mutual sharing among family members. Family members should share responsibilities, confidence, aspirations, knowledge, and understanding with one another. When people know how to share, “joy is doubled and sorrow is halved.”
Solidarity: Solidarity among family members and within the wider lineage or clan creates closeness, affection, and a sense of mutual responsibility. It is a principle that safeguards the family’s stability and development. These positive values are reflected in relationships among family and kin, in everyday communication and household life, and are passed down through proverbs and folk sayings such as: “When the elder sister falls, the younger one lifts her up,” or “Brothers and sisters are like hands and feet, whether in hardship or comfort, they support one another.” The strength of the family and of the community lies in solidarity.
Today, society is more developed and more modern, and people tend to have fewer children. At the same time, individuals are influenced by many more external factors, and the time they spend together is often more limited. For that reason, if the family is to develop sustainably, solidarity within the family, among relatives, and within the wider kinship network must be strengthened even more.
It can be said that in order to promote the good traditional values of family conduct in the modern family of Hội An, it is necessary not only to continue educating people about the good traditions of the Vietnamese nation, of Quảng culture, and of Hội An as a cultural heritage city, but also to further promote the traditional values of the Vietnamese family in line with the spirit of the 13th National Congress Resolution of the Communist Party. It remains important to continue the policy of “protecting and promoting the good and enduring values of Vietnamese cultural traditions,” thereby cont.
It is also necessary to continue effectively implementing the Strategy for the Development of the Vietnamese Family to 2020, with a vision to 2030, as well as the “Criteria for Conduct within the Family,” and to continue building model families characterized by “grandparents and parents as moral examples, children and grandchildren as dutiful and respectful, husband and wife in harmony, and siblings united and loving toward one another.”
At the same time, there must be stronger educational efforts to raise awareness and consciousness regarding respect for and compliance with the law, environmental protection, and the preservation of national cultural identity among Vietnamese people, especially younger generations. Step by step, it is necessary to overcome the limitations that still exist in the character and conduct of Vietnamese people, and to help build the Vietnamese person of the new era, one who is harmoniously and closely connected to both traditional and modern values.
In summary, the traditional values of the family are the crystallization of family culture and national culture. They shape the awareness and behaviour of each family member and lay the foundation for the family’s development in both the present and the future. In modern society, these traditional family values should continue to be strengthened and spread, serving as an internal cultural resource that provides a solid foundation for the building of the modern family. At the same time, some traditional values have already undergone certain changes, while others have been fading or transforming. Therefore, each family and society as a whole must fully and deeply recognize this issue and take active steps to preserve and promote these positive traditional values, contributing to the building of prosperous, happy, progressive, and civilized families, so that the family may truly remain a healthy social cell and make a worthy contribution to the development of Hội An as an Ecological, Cultural, and Tourism City.
Under the influence of the market economy, family relationships in Hội An have been undergoing profound change. Alongside the gradual weakening of traditional family values, the introduction of outside ideas and perceptions about family life has not yet been matched by the firm establishment of new values and standards in family relationships, resulting in what may be described as “value disturbances.” For that reason, the development of the family and family relationships needs to be guided by the highest standards of humanity and compassion, so that family conduct may continue to be regarded as a cultural virtue and contribute to preserving the good traditional culture of Hội An’s people, often described as “nhân tình thuần hậu, lá bông đủ màu” (warm-hearted and richly diverse in character and sentiment).
In response to these changes, some of which have been unfavourable to family conduct and behaviour, and in order to preserve and promote the positive values of family interaction, maintain peace and happiness within the household, and limit negative tendencies, in 2020 the Family Department under the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism issued the Criteria for Conduct within the Family, setting out several important principles. These criteria have been maintained and applied by the city of Hội An in ways appropriate to the circumstances of each family. They include:
Respect: This means evaluating one another fairly and properly, and valuing one another’s dignity, honour, and interests. When a person, whether elderly or young, feels respected, they are more likely to feel happy, open, and willing to connect and share. One of the causes of dissatisfaction and conflict in some family relationships is the feeling of being looked down upon. People often take family members for granted simply because they are so familiar and always present in daily life, to the point that they forget to show one another how much they value and respect each other.
Not feeling respected is one of the main causes of emotional distance and weakening bonds among family members. Failing to show respect, expressing it in the wrong way, at the wrong time, or not knowing how to express it at all can gradually erode the good relationships that originally existed in marriage, between parents and children, and among siblings. Respect means listening, offering sincere advice, educating and encouraging one another in times of fault or weakness, rather than causing emotional harm.
Equality: This refers to equal rights and responsibilities in all aspects of family life. Gender equality means that men and women have equal position and role, and are equally provided with opportunities and conditions to develop their abilities for the benefit of the family and the wider community, while also enjoying equally the fruits of that development. The aim of gender equality is to eliminate gender discrimination, create equal opportunities for men and women in socio-economic development and human resource development, move toward substantive equality between the sexes, and establish as well as strengthen cooperative and supportive relationships between men and women in all areas of social and family life.
In the family, gender equality means that husband and wife, sons and daughters, and male and female members all have equal status and role. Each should have the right to develop their abilities for the benefit of the family, the right to enjoy the results of the family’s and society’s development equally, the right to make decisions concerning themselves, and the right to participate in family decision-making. On the basis of these rights, family members can take part in domestic and social work according to their abilities and interests, and enjoy the fruits of development according to their own preferences. However, equality does not mean sameness. Because individuals differ biologically and in social roles, substantive equality must be understood and practiced in ways appropriate to each person within the family.
Equality between men and women is a cultural foundation for human dignity, family life, and happiness. The equal recognition and promotion of women’s roles in society and in the family carries major significance for preserving and advancing the good traditions of the Vietnamese family and the broader cultural heritage of the nation. Family culture is the foundation of social culture. Equality in the family is important in every era, but especially so in the current age of industrialization and modernization. A family grounded in equality is a healthy environment in which people, especially children, are treated fairly, educated about equal rights, and encouraged to act on those principles. Gender equality in the family is an important precondition for successful child care, upbringing, and education. It also contributes to improving the quality of life of family members, building a more civilized society, supporting national economic growth, helping to liberate women from restrictive roles, and strengthening the sustainability of the family.
Love and Affection: This refers to deep emotional bonds, care, and concern for one another.
Family affection is sacred. First and foremost, it is the affection family members have for one another, including maternal love, paternal love, and sibling affection. Such affection is not limited to those connected by blood; even those without a biological relationship can feel and express family-like care through concern, cooperation, and mutual support.
Each person expresses care in a different way. Some show it through words, others through actions. Family affection can help people overcome every hardship and challenge in life. It provides comfort, confidence, and hope in difficult times. As society develops, people may form many different kinds of relationships, but no relationship can truly equal family affection, which always holds a central place in people’s emotional and spiritual lives. Every person should therefore be aware of the important role family affection plays in life, so that it may be cherished, preserved, and nurtured. Even the simplest everyday gestures of care can make this affection more meaningful and beautiful, while also drawing people closer together. The family is the place where one loves and is loved.
Sharing: This means building emotional bonds together and sharing joys, sorrows, hardships, and adversity with one another. Family members should work together to sustain and develop the family, and should also share together in the results of the family’s labour and efforts. Sharing is the outcome of love, respect, and equality within the family. Without love, respect, and equality, genuine sharing cannot exist.
In reality, all people need to share and to be shared with. Life would be extremely dull and bleak without mutual sharing among family members. Family members should share responsibilities, confidence, aspirations, knowledge, and understanding with one another. When people know how to share, “joy is doubled and sorrow is halved.”
Solidarity: Solidarity among family members and within the wider lineage or clan creates closeness, affection, and a sense of mutual responsibility. It is a principle that safeguards the family’s stability and development. These positive values are reflected in relationships among family and kin, in everyday communication and household life, and are passed down through proverbs and folk sayings such as: “When the elder sister falls, the younger one lifts her up,” or “Brothers and sisters are like hands and feet, whether in hardship or comfort, they support one another.” The strength of the family and of the community lies in solidarity.
Today, society is more developed and more modern, and people tend to have fewer children. At the same time, individuals are influenced by many more external factors, and the time they spend together is often more limited. For that reason, if the family is to develop sustainably, solidarity within the family, among relatives, and within the wider kinship network must be strengthened even more.
It can be said that in order to promote the good traditional values of family conduct in the modern family of Hội An, it is necessary not only to continue educating people about the good traditions of the Vietnamese nation, of Quảng culture, and of Hội An as a cultural heritage city, but also to further promote the traditional values of the Vietnamese family in line with the spirit of the 13th National Congress Resolution of the Communist Party. It remains important to continue the policy of “protecting and promoting the good and enduring values of Vietnamese cultural traditions,” thereby cont.
It is also necessary to continue effectively implementing the Strategy for the Development of the Vietnamese Family to 2020, with a vision to 2030, as well as the “Criteria for Conduct within the Family,” and to continue building model families characterized by “grandparents and parents as moral examples, children and grandchildren as dutiful and respectful, husband and wife in harmony, and siblings united and loving toward one another.”
At the same time, there must be stronger educational efforts to raise awareness and consciousness regarding respect for and compliance with the law, environmental protection, and the preservation of national cultural identity among Vietnamese people, especially younger generations. Step by step, it is necessary to overcome the limitations that still exist in the character and conduct of Vietnamese people, and to help build the Vietnamese person of the new era, one who is harmoniously and closely connected to both traditional and modern values.
In summary, the traditional values of the family are the crystallization of family culture and national culture. They shape the awareness and behaviour of each family member and lay the foundation for the family’s development in both the present and the future. In modern society, these traditional family values should continue to be strengthened and spread, serving as an internal cultural resource that provides a solid foundation for the building of the modern family. At the same time, some traditional values have already undergone certain changes, while others have been fading or transforming. Therefore, each family and society as a whole must fully and deeply recognize this issue and take active steps to preserve and promote these positive traditional values, contributing to the building of prosperous, happy, progressive, and civilized families, so that the family may truly remain a healthy social cell and make a worthy contribution to the development of Hội An as an Ecological, Cultural, and Tourism City.
Author: Tong Quoc Hung
Source: Hoi An Center for the Conservation of World Cultural Heritage
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